Nov 5, 2010

My Halloween Costume Made You a Snack (Grilled Portobello Burgers)

Today, I’m writing about my Halloween costume for a chance to score a sweet camera from the lovely ladies over at The Secret’s in the Sauce. But instead of just showing you my costume, I thought I’d let my costume do a guest post. 

Meet Rain, a non-conforming, ironic fashion wearing, patchouli-reeking dirty hipster. And her boyfriend, Noah.


i almost didn't agree to do this post because blogging is so mainstream and conformist. but then i thought, blogging from my iphone while sipping a fair trade latte at a nontraditional coffee shop/venue/turtle farm is like, totally deck, so I’ll drop a few lines.

(p.s. i only use lowercase letters because their value is totally underestimated, just like mine. isn't that poetic? shuhhh...)

last night, after the greasy haired girls concert, i was majorly craving something vegan and nontraditional, but I was fresh out of soy chips. good thing my boyfriend noah had some shrooms in his window garden, so we made these.

i love the fact that they're burgers, but there's no burger. so ironic. 

i hear these are like, totally tasty and everything, but I actually didn't eat one. i try to keep to a strict diet of American Spirit cigarettes and brunch. It keeps my skin nice and pasty and helps me grow rainbow colors in my hair. but for all you three-meal-a-day conformists out there, don't worry, this recipe is so easy, you can make it with one hand tied behind your back holding a pabst. 

first, make a marinade with garlic, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and soy. mmm. i had soy sauce last night at a hole-in-the-wall, underground thai joint. yeah, i'm cultured.

while the shrooms are marinating, put the peppers on the grill. make sure they're organic peppers carried in a reusable hemp bag from whole foods or trader joes or I'll shoot judging laser beams your way through my gigantic black-rimmed glasses.

finally, grill the shrooms and the buns and smash it all together. you're done at this point, so it's perfectly cool to burn some incense, put on an indie electrocrap vinyl record and hold a small vigil to remember what you've just gone through. 

oh, and please ignore the non-slr camera pics and the totally traditional food styling on this blog. i wanted to put the burger on the sidewalk, step on it, add some vintage buttons and take an off-centered, de-saturated photo with my Polaroid camera, but Rachel made me use her photos. Such a poser.
I’m out. Noah and I are going to down a few bronsons, then ride to the thrift store on our fixed gear bikes to buy some ironic t-shirts. Peace.

Wow, thanks, Rain. Now, while Ms. Hip didn't try these burgers, I absolutely did and WOW. Simply awesome. My hubby, Noah…err…Luke, inhaled them even though they don’t contain meat, which is pretty much the one requirement for a good burger in his book. 

The mushrooms are super tender and juicy, the red pepper mayo has a wonderful smoky pepper flavor and the onion rolls are THE PERFECT bun for this sandwich. All in all, it's an awesome burger. If it's too chilly to grill, your broiler should work just fine, or a stove-top grill pan.  

or you could just grill outside when it's cold, cause that's nontraditional...shuuhhhh...

Grilled Portobello Burgers with Roasted Red Pepper Mayo
Yield: 4 servings
Bill and Cheryl Jamison, Cooking Light, May 2003

Printable recipe card

Note: Meaty and versatile, marinated portobello mushrooms make great burgers. Half of a roasted bell pepper is stirred into mayonnaise for the sandwich spread. Use the leftover bell pepper as a pizza topping, in salad, or tossed with pasta.

1/4  cup  low-sodium soy sauce
1/4  cup  balsamic vinegar
2  tablespoons  olive oil
3  garlic cloves, minced
4  (4-inch) portobello mushroom caps
1  small red bell pepper
Cooking spray
1/4  cup  low-fat mayonnaise
1/2  teaspoon  olive oil
1/8  teaspoon  ground red pepper
4  (2-ounce) onion sandwich buns
4  (1/4-inch-thick) slices tomato
4  curly leaf lettuce leaves

Combine first 4 ingredients in a large zip-top plastic bag; add mushrooms to bag. Seal and marinate at room temperature for 2 hours, turning bag occasionally. Remove mushrooms from bag; discard marinade.

Prepare grill to medium heat.

Cut bell pepper in half lengthwise; discard seeds and membranes. Place pepper halves on grill rack coated with cooking spray; grill 15 minutes or until blackened, turning occasionally. Place in a zip-top plastic bag; seal. Let stand 10 minutes. Peel. Reserve 1 pepper half for another use.

Finely chop 1 pepper half; place in a small bowl. Add mayonnaise, 1/2 teaspoon oil, and ground red pepper; stir well.

Place mushrooms, gill sides down, on grill rack coated with cooking spray; grill 4 minutes on each side. Place buns, cut sides down, on grill rack coated with cooking spray; grill 30 seconds on each side or until toasted.

Spread 2 tablespoons mayonnaise mixture on top half of each bun. Place 1 mushroom on bottom half of each bun. Top each mushroom with 1 tomato slice and 1 lettuce leaf; cover with top halves of buns.

Nutritional Information: Calories: 251 (30% from fat), Fat: 8.4g (sat 2.3g,mono 3.7g,poly 2.1g), Protein: 7.3g, Carbohydrate: 37.9g, Fiber: 2.4g, Cholesterol: 0.0mg, Iron: 2.2mg, Sodium: 739mg, Calcium: 81mg.


LBDDiaries said...

Far out, man! That is so groovy that I might have to try it tonight. Can you dig it? I know you can.

teresa said...

hahaha! my husband is looking at me funny because i've been laughing out loud for the last five minutes. this was great!! the hippie and non-hippie in me would love this!

Rebecka said...

I'm still laughing at the name of your blog. I love pie. Why didn't I think of that?

I'm not into food blogs, but you made me laugh, so Ima follow now.

Anonymous said...

These sound amazing!

Super cute post, too :D

Heather said...

How fun! And yummy. :)

Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Oh those look delish. And that mayo??? Amazing!

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner

Lindsey said...

Ha! Great post. :) I'm totally terrified of portobello burgers--because I'm afraid of mushrooms (especially big ones!) but the mayo looks fabulous!

LisaDay said...

Looks yummy. Is the printable recipe card new? Great idea. I tried your pumpkin cookies. Yum.


Ingrid said...

:) Funny!

Galit Breen (Minnesota Mamaleh) said...

hilarious *and* delish? i'm so in! love. it! in a totally non-conformist, um- dirty way! :)

(Florida) Girl said...

Pie, I love those costumes.

AND, I am putting the trance on you to bring you back to the blog world. I miss you!

Susan said...

These look so amazing!


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