My Halloween Costume Made You a Snack (Grilled Portobello Burgers)

Today, I’m writing about my Halloween costume for a chance to score a sweet camera from the lovely ladies over at The Secret’s in the Sauce. But instead of just showing you my costume, I thought I’d let my costume do a guest post. 

Meet Rain, a non-conforming, ironic fashion wearing, patchouli-reeking dirty hipster. And her boyfriend, Noah.

RAIN:

i almost didn't agree to do this post because blogging is so mainstream and conformist. but then i thought, blogging from my iphone while sipping a fair trade latte at a nontraditional coffee shop/venue/turtle farm is like, totally deck, so I’ll drop a few lines.

(p.s. i only use lowercase letters because their value is totally underestimated, just like mine. isn't that poetic? shuhhh...)

last night, after the greasy haired girls concert, i was majorly craving something vegan and nontraditional, but I was fresh out of soy chips. good thing my boyfriend noah had some shrooms in his window garden, so we made these.

i love the fact that they're burgers, but there's no burger. so ironic. 

i hear these are like, totally tasty and everything, but I actually didn't eat one. i try to keep to a strict diet of American Spirit cigarettes and brunch. It keeps my skin nice and pasty and helps me grow rainbow colors in my hair. but for all you three-meal-a-day conformists out there, don't worry, this recipe is so easy, you can make it with one hand tied behind your back holding a pabst. 

first, make a marinade with garlic, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and soy. mmm. i had soy sauce last night at a hole-in-the-wall, underground thai joint. yeah, i'm cultured.

while the shrooms are marinating, put the peppers on the grill. make sure they're organic peppers carried in a reusable hemp bag from whole foods or trader joes or I'll shoot judging laser beams your way through my gigantic black-rimmed glasses.

finally, grill the shrooms and the buns and smash it all together. you're done at this point, so it's perfectly cool to burn some incense, put on an indie electrocrap vinyl record and hold a small vigil to remember what you've just gone through. 

oh, and please ignore the non-slr camera pics and the totally traditional food styling on this blog. i wanted to put the burger on the sidewalk, step on it, add some vintage buttons and take an off-centered, de-saturated photo with my Polaroid camera, but Rachel made me use her photos. Such a poser.

 

I’m out. Noah and I are going to down a few bronsons, then ride to the thrift store on our fixed gear bikes to buy some ironic t-shirts. Peace.

Wow, thanks, Rain. Now, while Ms. Hip didn't try these burgers, I absolutely did and WOW. Simply awesome. My hubby, Noah…err…Luke, inhaled them even though they don’t contain meat, which is pretty much the one requirement for a good burger in his book. 

The mushrooms are super tender and juicy, the red pepper mayo has a wonderful smoky pepper flavor and the onion rolls are THE PERFECT bun for this sandwich. All in all, it's an awesome burger. If it's too chilly to grill, your broiler should work just fine, or a stove-top grill pan.  

or you could just grill outside when it's cold, cause that's like...so nontraditional...shuuhhhh...

Grilled Portobello Burgers with Roasted Red Pepper Mayo

Yield: 4 servings

Bill and Cheryl Jamison, Cooking Light, May 2003

Printable recipe card


Note: Meaty and versatile, marinated portobello mushrooms make great burgers. Half of a roasted bell pepper is stirred into mayonnaise for the sandwich spread. Use the leftover bell pepper as a pizza topping, in salad, or tossed with pasta.

Ingredients:

1/4  cup  low-sodium soy sauce

1/4  cup  balsamic vinegar

2  tablespoons  olive oil

3  garlic cloves, minced

4  (4-inch) portobello mushroom caps

1  small red bell pepper

Cooking spray

1/4  cup  low-fat mayonnaise

1/2  teaspoon  olive oil

1/8  teaspoon  ground red pepper

4  (2-ounce) onion sandwich buns

4  (1/4-inch-thick) slices tomato

4  curly leaf lettuce leaves

Preparation:

Combine first 4 ingredients in a large zip-top plastic bag; add mushrooms to bag. Seal and marinate at room temperature for 2 hours, turning bag occasionally. Remove mushrooms from bag; discard marinade.

Prepare grill to medium heat.

Cut bell pepper in half lengthwise; discard seeds and membranes. Place pepper halves on grill rack coated with cooking spray; grill 15 minutes or until blackened, turning occasionally. Place in a zip-top plastic bag; seal. Let stand 10 minutes. Peel. Reserve 1 pepper half for another use.

Finely chop 1 pepper half; place in a small bowl. Add mayonnaise, 1/2 teaspoon oil, and ground red pepper; stir well.

Place mushrooms, gill sides down, on grill rack coated with cooking spray; grill 4 minutes on each side. Place buns, cut sides down, on grill rack coated with cooking spray; grill 30 seconds on each side or until toasted.

Spread 2 tablespoons mayonnaise mixture on top half of each bun. Place 1 mushroom on bottom half of each bun. Top each mushroom with 1 tomato slice and 1 lettuce leaf; cover with top halves of buns.

Nutritional Information: Calories: 251 (30% from fat), Fat: 8.4g (sat 2.3g,mono 3.7g,poly 2.1g), Protein: 7.3g, Carbohydrate: 37.9g, Fiber: 2.4g, Cholesterol: 0.0mg, Iron: 2.2mg, Sodium: 739mg, Calcium: 81mg.

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Spicy Snack mix

I’m celebrating Halloween with The Secret’s in the Sauce for a chance to win a sweet camera. Today it's all about something we made for Halloween. Enjoy!

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Halloween is all about candy.  Lots, and lots of candy. The holiday itself is practically a piñata, bursting at the seams with chocolate bars, caramels and tootsie pops. But what about those of us with a salty tooth? The sort of people who would happily down a plate of nachos over a bowl of ice cream? The weird ones who top their chocolates with salt? The annoying dates like yours truly that go out for dessert and coffee and end up ordering fried mozzarella sticks and beer? What does Halloween have to offer these people?

Well, among the caramel apples and the cider mill donuts and the overflowing bags of candy, there’s one salty treat that I couldn’t get enough of this year.

Now, I’m not huge a fan of popcorn. And I loathe pretzels. Cereal sans the milk? Blah. And let’s just say in my opinion, plain ‘ol peanuts are much better suited for peanut butter than straight-from-the-jar popping. But all mixed together and coated with a garlicky, spicy, buttery sauce and baked to crispy perfection? Delicious.

So, I hereby give to you, a falltastic snack that will satisfy even the biggest salty snack addicts out there, and may even lure in few sweet freaks for a much needed sugar high hiatus.

 

And while it may have been the perfect snack for toting under butterfly wings or witch capes to a hopping Halloween party, it’s also delightful for munching on any day of the year, whether in front of the TV, behind a hand of cards, or on top of a pillow during a slumber party gossip sesh.

And to make things even better, the recipe is wicked easy, although I did make a few alterations to the original recipe. I added the protein-packed peanuts so I could pass it off as a meal (ha!), reduced the popcorn and maybe...just maybe... I cheated and used butter-flavored popcorn when I was supposed to use popcorn "without fat." So sue me.

Try it. You’ll love it. It’s like Chex Mix, but way better, healthier and cheaper than the bagged stuff. And far better for our poor post-Halloween bodies than raiding the candy stash of those younger and weaker than us. Although, I say go for both: salty and sweet. Bite of candy. Bite of snack mix. Smile. Just leave a few tootsie rolls for the kids.

Spicy Snack Mix

Yield: 4 cups (serving size: 1 cup)

Cooking Light, January 1993

Ingredients: 

3  cups  popped corn (air or microwave popped without salt or fat) 

(I reduced the popcorn and added dry-roasted peanuts) 

1  cup  crispy corn cereal squares 

1  cup  tiny salted pretzels 

1  tablespoon  butter, melted 

1  teaspoon  chili powder 

1/4  teaspoon  ground cumin 

1/4  teaspoon  garlic powder 

1/4  teaspoon  salt

Preparation:

Combine first 3 ingredients in a large zip-top heavy-duty plastic bag; set aside.

Combine butter and remaining ingredients in a small bowl; add mixture in bag. Seal the bag and shake to coat.

Spread mixture evenly into a 15- x 10- x 1-inch jellyroll pan. Bake at 275 degrees for 30 minutes, stirring twice. Cool completely; store in an airtight container.

Nutritional Information: Calories: 64 (25% from fat), Fat: 1.8g (sat 0.3g,mono 0.6g,poly 0.8g), Protein: 1.4g, Carbohydrate: 10.8g, Fiber: 1g, Iron: 0.7mg, Sodium: 256mg, Calcium: 6mg.

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A Halloween’s Past

I miss being a kid in the fall.

I miss drinking hot apple cider after a long day of leaf jumping in the chilly autumn air. I miss the crepe paper-draped school parties and the pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies and the construction paper bats. And I miss the homemade costumes.

While other kids paraded around in overpriced sparkly fairy princess getups, I was at the mercy of whatever creation my mother concocted. Fortunately, I was not left in the hands of a substandard seamstress. My mom’s sewing skills landed me some pretty sweet costumes like this cat, complete with candy corn tail, ears and vest (which I must not have put on before my grandpa snapped this photo). A little dab of lipstick and a few strokes of eyeliner and I was as happy as a clam…err…cat. I didn’t have glittery wings or dollar store plastic wands, but my crafty costume was just perfect. It got the job done, scoring me more candy than I could eat in a year.

I remember bouncing down the street, loot in tow, begging each step of the way to have "just one more piece of candy...please!" Then swinging into the old folk's home, where all the sweet old ladies sat in a circle, offering pennies from their tiny coin purses. Then we'd make our way home and dump out all our candy so my mother could check for needles and sketchy confections, while my brother and I sorted the Snickers and Reese's away from the sub par Tootsie Rolls.

Oh, to be a kid again! I guess I'll just have to wait until I have my own children to experience the same excitement. Although I have learned a thing or two on how to make my own penny-pinching, laugh-conjuring costumes. For details on this year's outcome...you'll just have to come back for another post!

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I’m celebrating Halloween with The Secret’s in the Sauce for a chance to win a sweet camera. I'm in desperate need of a real camera as darker days threaten to make my tiny front porch photo shoots move indoors where the lighting is just a shade better than office fluorescent. So today was all about a memory from Halloween's past. Hope you enjoyed! 

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Tomato-Basil Salsa & Fresh Berry Daiquiris

I wish I could tell you that these super summery treats were meant to be posted in chilly October. That it was my purposeful plan to exclusively accommodate the parched Floridians and West Coasters, or those lucky enough to be enjoying the warm breezes of an Indian summer.

But no. I’m simply a slacker. A procrastinator. An overworked advertising writer who finds her weekends filled with the same things that fill her weekdays. Work. Not to mention the apple orchards and the out of town guests and the trips around the country that far beat the eye twitch inducing staring competition with a blank Word doc.

But amidst the pumpkins and the parties, I have good news... I finished my cooking project! I successfully cooked through a year of Cooking light recipes. But like most good news, mine is inevitably followed by bad news: I won’t allow myself to celebrate until I’ve posted all of my hard work on this here blog, because somewhere along the way, documenting the project became just as important as the actual project itself. 

So while my crammed calendar has been robbing me of the time my perfectionist nature needs to meticulously pick photos and write entries, fear not! I’ll soon be caught up and the champagne will surely flow.

In the meantime, clap silently for my secret victory and take a break from your pumpkin-spice confections to enjoy a fresh, fruity drink and a summer salsa I made back in….err…July.

This salsa recipe creates a super easy, six-ingredient, 11-measly-calorie dip that’s far…FAR… better than the bottled stuff. It was my first attempt at peeling a tomato (you can peel tomatoes!) and let me tell you – a vegetable peeler is not the way to go, my friends. Instead, this method is great for sanity-saving peeling and this trick gets every last seed out in seconds.

Once you’ve made it past that step, a few chops, a splash of red wine vinegar and a dash of S&P are all you need to put garden-fresh salsa on your table.  And if you're going to eat salsa in October, you might as well have a frosty cocktail to wash it down, right?

These daiquiris take a little more patience than the salsa, but I promise they’re worth it. If you’ve ever found yourself craving the icy, fruity sweetness of a seaside cabana daiquiri in the comfort of your own home, but hate the corn syrup-filled and artificially flavored crap that lines the grocery store shelves, you’ll love these fresh treats.

First, make simple syrup (boiled and cooled sugar water). Then, puree your berries of choice (raspberries, blueberries or strawberries), sieve them to remove skins and seeds and blend them with ice, lime juice and rum.

Then drag your lawn chair out of storage, pretend this frigid fall weather is really a summer heat wave and enjoy your fresh salsa and chilled tropical drink. Mind over matter, right? Think warm…feel warm. And then say a prayer that I can post a few dozen more recipes before the snow falls so you’re not enjoying frozen treats in the presence of icicles.

Tomato-Basil Salsa

Yield: 2 cups (serving size: 1/4 cup)

Cooking Light, JULY 1998

Note: Aside from tortilla chips, this salsa is also great served with grilled vegetables, beef, or poultry. Or try it as a condiment on a grilled-chicken sandwich or toasted bagel with cheese.

Ingredients:

2  cups  chopped seeded peeled tomato

1/4  cup  chopped fresh basil

2  tablespoons  chopped red onion

2  tablespoons  red wine vinegar

1/4  teaspoon  salt

1/8  teaspoon  black pepper

Preparation:

Combine all ingredients in a bowl.

Nutritional Information: Calories: 11 (16% from fat), Fat:0.2g (sat 0.0g,mono 0.0g,poly 0.1g), Protein: 0.5g, Carbohydrate: 2.5g, Fiber: 0.6g, Cholesterol: 0.0mg, Iron: 0.2mg, Sodium: 77mg, Calcium: 5mg.

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Fresh Strawberry Daiquiris 

Yield: 6 servings (serving size: 2/3 cup)

David Bonom, Cooking Light, JUNE 2008

Ingredients:

1  cup  halved strawberries

1/2  cup Simple Syrup (recipe to follow)

1  tablespoon  fresh lemon juice

3  cups  crushed ice

1/2  cup  rum (Captain Morgan spiced rum is perfect.)

3  tablespoons  fresh lime juice

Preparation:

Combine first 3 ingredients in a blender, and process until smooth.

Strain mixture through a sieve into a bowl, and discard solids.

Combine strawberry mixture, 3 cups crushed ice, rum, and lime juice in blender, and process until smooth.

Nutritional Information: Calories: 107 (1% from fat), Fat: 0.1g (sat 0.0g,mono 0.0g,poly 0.0g), Protein: 0.2g, Carbohydrate: 16.7g, Fiber: 0.6g, Cholesterol: 0.0mg, Iron: 0.1mg, Sodium: 1mg, Calcium: 6mg.

Blueberry Daiquiri Variation

Yield: 6 servings (serving size: 2/3 cup).

Substitute 1 cup blueberries and increase simple syrup to 3/4 cup.

Nutritional Info: Calories: 140 (1% From Fat), Fat: 0.1g (Sat 0g, Mono 0g, Poly 0g), Protein: 0.2g, Carbs: 25.3g, Fiber: 0.6g, Cholesterol: 0mg, Iron: 0.1mg, Sodium: 1mg, Calcium: 4mg.

Raspberry Daiquiri Variation

Yield: 6 Servings (Serving Size: 2/3 Cup).

Substitute 1 (6-Ounce) box raspberries and increase simple syrup To 3/4 Cup.

Nutritional Into: Calories: 141 (1% From Fat), Fat: 0.2g (Sat 0g, Mono 0g, Poly 0.1g); Protein: 0.4g, Carbs: 25.1g, Fiber: 0.6g, Cholesterol: 0mg, Iron: 0.2mg, Sodium: 1mg, Calcium: 9mg.

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Simple Syrup

Yield: 1 1/2 cups (serving size: 3 tablespoons)

David Bonom, Cooking Light, JUNE 2008

Note: This Simple Syrup recipe makes enough for three batches of strawberry daiquiris or two batches of the blueberry or raspberry variation. The syrup is also handy for sweetening iced tea.

Ingredients:

1 1/4  cups  sugar

1  cup  water

Preparation:

Combine sugar and 1 cup water in a small saucepan; bring to a boil. Cook 1 1/2 minutes or until sugar dissolves, stirring occasionally. Refrigerate until chilled.

Nutritional Information:

Calories: 121 (0.0% from fat), Fat: 0.0g (sat 0.0g,mono 0.0g,poly 0.0g), Protein: 0.0g, Carbohydrate: 31.3g, Fiber: 0.0g, Cholesterol: 0.0mg, Iron: 0.0mg, Sodium: 1mg, Calcium: 1mg.

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